Working with my spouse: What I’ve learned so far!

The last few months have marked some major milestones in my life. My husband (Adam) and I moved to our new house in Caledon and he left his office job to work for Blush & Bowties. This has been a long time goal of ours. Adam is amazingly skilled, organized, and great at managing finances but he never felt fulfilled at his past job. I always knew I wanted to grow the company to the point where it could support us both. I’ve needed help with managing the company’s finances for a while, and I knew Adam was the perfect person for this role. The time finally came in November 2018 for us to take the leap into a new chapter. It’s been a time of growth and adjustment, so here’s what I’ve learned so far!

LETTING GO

Any business owner I’ve even spoken to has struggled with letting go when it comes to their company. As I’ve learned, one person alone cannot run a thriving wedding planning business. As Blush & Bowties grows, so does our team; which has had its ups and downs (that insight is for another blog.) Adam has moved into the role of helping with budgets and the financial side of the business. And guess what? Yep . . . I’ve had to let go of some tightly gripped reigns, which admittedly hasn’t come easy. I am used to doing things my way and pretty much figuring out everything for my business. I’m going onto my 7th year of planning weddings and over this time I’ve adopted an “if it’s going to get done right, I’ll have to do it myself” attitude. As you can guess, this hasn’t served me all that well in the past months and I am learning to shift my mindset to letting go, and trusting that those around me can help efficiently.

THE GIFT OF FREEDOM

There are, of course, challenges when it comes to working with my spouse - but there are also SO many positives. Even though I have worked for myself for a long time, we’ve always been tied down by Adam’s limited vacation days which has meant very little travel time. With Adam now working with the company, it means we can plan for way more adventures. Before, Adam would have his weekends off - and guess what a wedding planner does on weekends?  You guessed it - WEDDINGS! Our schedules are now totally in sync which means more travel time and mid-week adventures together. I can’t put a value on what it’s like to have freedom and control over our lives. It truly is a dream and I am so grateful to be in this position together.

ALONE TIME IS A GOOD THING  

As I mentioned, Adam and I used to have very different schedules. He used to work 9-5, while I worked mostly evenings and weekends. But now we are together, A LOT. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve actually never felt closer to Adam than I have these past few months, but it also means it’s important we enjoy our alone time (it makes our together time more special). One of the many benefits of our new dwelling is having many areas and rooms in the house to retreat to when needed. I’ve taken to sitting by the fire and reading, while Adam might pop off to his nerd cave (yes you read that correctly) to enjoy some quiet time doing what we love separately.

LEAN ON ME

I’ve felt very, very alone in my business for many years. I love to the moon and back what I do, but planning weddings isn’t a walk in the park. It’s stressful, it’s emotionally draining, and sometimes the pressure can be blinding. What can be even more isolating for business owners is going through this alone. Adam has always been supportive of me as my business has grown, but because he’s been an outsider looking in, I’ve always felt like it was difficult to explain truly what I was feeling (just like I’ll never truly understand the pressures my bestie goes through being a doctor). But with him now by my side, I have someone to share this journey with (the ups and the downs) because we are in it together.

It’s amazing how much our world has changed in a short amount of time. I am feeling excited and rejuvenated with our new routines. We are walking together every day, cooking more, and I’ve never felt more productive (as I now have someone to share the workload with). All in all, I’m so thankful for this shift and to have Adam working with the company.