How to turn your wedding stress to wedding bliss
So you’re getting married, and you have a hundred things you need to do. I totally 100% understand . . . the situation seemingly is stressful. There is a lot riding on one day. You feel stressed, you feel anxious, you feel overwhelmed. But what if that feeling could all go away? I am going to share a little something I have been working on in my life. I’m a business owner (aka accountant, scheduler, social media manager, responsible for all marketing ), I am currently planning over 30 weddings, I write a blog every week, I have an amazing husband who I try to spend as much with as possible, I am a doggy mommy, homeowner. I have a lot going on. I am constantly met with emails, calls, texts from clients, prospective clients, and vendors - sometimes at all hours of the day. And for a long time, and I would look at all this and feel stressed. And it didn’t feel good. A year ago, I admit, I was an anxious mess. But over the last year I have been working on my awareness; of my state of being, mind, emotions, reactions, and understanding the power to shape my perspective, and I am happy to say, life is a whole lot sweeter. I still have days where the stress takes over, but I have built myself a little system to combat these crazy days. Now you may be asking what the heck does this have to do with your wedding?! Well planning your wedding is a time when you may start to feel the nagging reigns of stress pulling you down and to put it plainly, making you feel a little bit cra cra. But I am going to share a secret, as Mr Tony Robbins tells us, “Stress comes from making things more important than they are.”
Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying your wedding isn’t a stressful situation or not important; what I am saying is you have the power to change your perspective and and how planning your wedding affects you. It’s all in your mind my loves. I have noticed a lot of conversations from couples beginning with “I am so stressed” “I am so anxious” “I am so busy”. I get it friends, I have been there, and it’s a daily challenge not to let outstanding details and decisions bog you down. But you have the power to change how you view these tasks and to do’s. They can either be overwhelming . . . or exciting! They can either be a time suck . . . or a chance to bond with your partner and or friends and family. You see where I am going - it’s all about your perspective.
I am going to provide you with 6 tips to turn wedding stress to wedding bliss (bonus . . . these applications work in all aspects of your life!)
1. Get aware
The first step to feeling less stressed and bummed, is to acknowledge when these feelings begin to take over. For example, your mom just called and has decided to wear the same colour as the bridesmaids. Before you go into meltdown mode . . . stop and find the awareness of what you are feeling. This is step number one.
2. Bad Habits
Something annoying and stressful happens, or you just have a lot on your plate. The chairs you want are booked, figuring out your seating chart feels more complicated than astrophysics, your florist is slow on responding to emails. How do you react? Do you cry, bitch, scream, call every friend you know to exclaim your frustrations? I get it, this venting may seem helpful. But these are just bad habits you have created to deal with the stress. And I think it’s really imperative to evaluate if these habits are serving.
3. The Black Hole of Negativity
Negativity is easy. Trust me I have been there. But once you start getting sucked in the black hole of pessimism, seeing the light can that much more difficult. Do you find yourself complaining about the same things over and over when it comes to your weddings? Example, my bridesmaid aren’t helpful, my mom is controlling, I have so much to do and no time . . etc. etc. Repeating the same cycle of negative thoughts over and over will only cement in your mind how you automatically react to situations. Weddings are a time of heightened emotion, so therefore the tendency to complain can become that much more tempting. Get aware, get a control on those negative thoughts.
4. Don’t get mad, problem solve
Getting mad truly never solves anything. I think a lot of us get mad for the sake of getting mad, because it momentarily feels good. I’m definitely guilty of rageful rants, and guess what, afterwards I felt not so good. Because I know I am better than that. Because I know I am full of love not hate. Let’s say for example your catering contact is just not on it. They are slow on emails, not detailed, and just not bringing it. Not good, but not a time to get mad. Guess how people react when you criticize and berate them? No better, and potentially, even less helpful than before. Yelling, complaining, belittling never ever works. Addressing the problem straight on, being honest yet tactful, and showing compassion works. I am not saying don’t speak your mind, but shape your thoughts and words with the purpose of addressing the issues you are experiencing, rather than getting mad and telling them what a crappy job they are doing. Trust me, whoever you are addressing will work much harder for you if you work with them not against them.
5. Control your mind, shape your happiness
Mastering your mind isn’t going to happen in one day. But just stick with it, and you will see a wealth of positive changes. With awareness and starting to comes to terms with bad habits and ritual negativity, you can begin to shape a new perspective. It’s two weeks before your wedding and you still have 9 major to do’s. Instead of spending ½ hour freaking out, write down all your to do’s, order them in importance, and tackle 3 a day for the next 3 days. Replace a state of feeling helpless and overwhelmed, with the power to know that everything is figureoutable and can get done. Go day by day, moment by moment, situation by situation, and start applying a sense of calm and excitement to planning your wedding.
6. Remember Your Why
One major lesson I have learned the past year, is to always have my “why” with me. This is the core reason of why I get up everyday and work as hard as I do. For me, it comes down to an innate desire to help couples have an exceptionally curated wedding and to create beautiful experiences for my clients and their guests. So I encourage you to look at your wedding, and remember why you are doing this. And remind yourself each and every day of the planning process of this why. It will help guide you and keep small details and annoyances in perspective.
Now I know these tips will be a challenge to apply, but I believe you can do it. I truly wish for each every couple planning their wedding out there to fully enjoy not only their wedding day, but the planning process as well. Hiring help for your day can help keep the stress at bay, but to be perfectly honest, your enjoyment level is up to you. Hopefully these ideas empower you to take your wedding planning by the you know what and just love and savour each and every moment.
By Certified Wedding Planner Alexandra McNamara